Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Mama Bear Syndrome: The Fierce and Unrelenting Need to Protect Your Children

Because we are a "blended family" (the newer, nicer way to refer to what used to be called dysfunctional family), I have the pleasure, or rather, the challenge of trying to keep the peace between my husband and the birth mother of my two oldest children. With all due respect to her, she has had many challenges of her own and has many times, over the course of our four years of being a family, been less than reliable (to put it nicely). Unfortunately, our views of what is appropriate when it comes to diet and t.v. viewing are often at odds with hers. The upside to this is that, because the children live with us full time, this is not a concern we have to deal with more than once or twice a month. Another down side that we've found, though, is that a lot of damage can be done in one over night visit.
Our oldest son, who will be 7 in October, has always been a good sleeper until recently. Over the summer, he has been crawling into bed with our daughter, 8, almost every night. We have tried everything to keep him in his bed all night. It seems to be getting worse, though, to the point that, minutes after he is tucked in, he's gotten his favorite pillow, blanket, and doggie and is sneaking across the hall. I had to put him in bed 5 times last night. I finally asked him if there was some reason that he refused to stay in bed lately. This is not the first such conversation, but he usually give me a shrug and an "I dunno." I pressed the matter and said that I needed to know why. This is how I discovered the latest in a long line of issues occurring when they visit their other mother. They were made to watch a horror movie. I started to name this movie, but thought better of it, because I'm a firm believer in not glorifying such negative things with any more attention than they might have.  If you keep up with cinema, this is a recently released to DVD horror film, rated PG-13, is about a family being harrassed by demonic possession. I looked up a review on Parent Previews, since I have no intention of watching it, because this site gives fairly detailed accounts of content, broken down into categories (violence, sexual content, language, etc.) and I wanted to know with what, exactly, we were dealing.
Now, my husband and I have to figure out how to keep this from happening again. I'll spare you the details. Here is where I rant. The previous was just for your information, so that you can understand the title of this post and what I'm about to say...

Are you crazy?! How dare you subject our children, MY children, to such horrific images, not to mention the other movies we have heard about in the past, with foul language and violence and considered just completely innapropriate by 99.9% of the world with any kind of standards! They are so impressionable at this age, with wildly active imaginations that take those images and run laps in their little minds. I litterally feel like I could sprout claws and let loose a howling growl towards the sky. My babies should not have to be afraid of their own rooms and every shadow out the window. I'm so furious right now, I could shake a tree.
However, I am a Christian and therefore commanded to forgive. I am also commanded to love unconditionally. It's not easy on days like this, so I remember that I Cor. 13:5 says that love "is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]." This will be my mantra today. By the way, another good site for reviews is Plugged In, which gives you the same, plus from a Christian point of view. I didn't check it first, because I assumed they wouldn't have reviewed this movie. Upon closer inspection, they did have a very thorough and insiteful review.

1 comment:

  1. You are a strong and Godly woman, put to the test often. You are the best mother for those children and they are lucky to have parent like you and there dad! I love you very much and am very proud of the woman and mother u have become